Well after a couple of weeks of kicking my heels and generally getting wound up and anxious about it I finally got to see my GP yesterday to discuss getting my blockers organised and my treatment plan in general. Things got off to their usual start, namely me getting there 10 minutes early, because I hate being late for things, and then being seen 20 minutes late, all great for my anxiety. I was genuinely worried about my GP being awkward about my hormone therapy and with good reason having read enough horror stories about GP’s who have been unhelpful or deliberately obstructive for one reason or another.
Time dragged on while I was in the waiting room and now clock watching as I’m aware I had a double appointment and getting closer to my safe margin time wise for getting to work. Finally I get called in and asked why I was there, so I explained briefly about being trans and my recent appointment with Dr Seal. My GP then took a copy of my report and had a read through and asked a few questions.
One was about my voice of all things and if I was hoping my new meds would do something about it (There was a note in my report about me being unhappy about my voice. I’m happy with it. just struggling with Richard and his deafness). I calmly explain that my voice change is down to hard work and not hormones, wishing we’d get onto what I wanted to talk about. A second question was regarding my old meds that I’d been taking and if I was still on them. I don’t need them as I’m on the right stuff now so no. A third was if I wanted surgery. That’s a hell yes but that’s stated in the report so why even ask that?
Eventually we get to the part about my meds and what I need to do. I can see she’s unsure so I’ve talked her through what I’m taking, what it does and will do. I ask her if I can get a repeat prescription when needed as my Progynova will run out before my follow up with Dr Seal. Again she’s unsure but I reiterate I’m having follow ups with Dr Seal so all the monitoring is done at his end as well as the fact that bridging prescriptions are a thing due to the fact there’s a year long waiting list for Charing X CIG to get on with things. She finally agrees and write out a prescription for the Cyproterone Acetate, which I will need to take for the first two weeks alongside the Decapeptyl to counteract what the testosterone surge will otherwise do to me.
By now I’m a relieved and trembling giddy wreck. I get this way when something that has would the anxiety up suddenly goes and my mind kinda crashes in a way and I struggle to do anything functional, much less argue my case regarding things. As a result she’s now asking me about the fact I still have a male marker on my patient records and thinks that this would be best kept as it’ll mean not being bothered by invites for cervical smears and mammograms. On reflection, now I’ve had a day and a chat to a couple of trans friends, I wish I’d got that changed, but that’s a battle for another day. I’m now getting quite close to having to get to work and I’ve now been told I need to get my prescriptions up to the chemist so I can pick meds up and arrange a trip to see the nurse.
I get to the chemist and put them in. Then we have a problem. Because my Decapeptyl was written as a private prescription it’ll have to be put through as such and that’s a £300 hit I really can’t be doing with right now. I explain to the chemist the only reason I’ve gone private is because of the NHS missing their 18 week target for referrals. They phone the head practitioner at my GP but no dice and out of time and out of spoons to keep me going I reluctantly agree and arrange to come back Monday to pick up meds and fork over a small fortune I had intended to go on my final laser sessions.
I’m now aware I’m going to be late for work. As a result I drove the bike there that in motorbike racing parlance would describe as ‘Riding it like I stole it’. Mercifully i get to work dead on time and right into a 1-1 with my manager regarding work and how to help support me with things as I’ve been struggling lately. That boiled down to me taking things at a slower pace, take more breaks if needed, reach out to people if I am struggling and try not to take too much on at once. They might have even torn up the original prescription and written their own as they’ve just agreed to do repeats for me anyway. Big weight off of my chest and purse and I promptly book a nurses’s appointment. Annoyingly the earliest they have is 12th February so that’s what I’ve got. I have everything organised and dates to aim at. That knocks out my anxiety for a while.
While at work today and giving my phone a long overdue clear out I stumbled across something I downloaded in September which I could have done with remembering regarding registering my change of details with my GP and what I said about earlier. Oh well, it’s there for when I do sort things out. It’s below for anyone who needs it.